How happy are you?
The United Nations International Day of Happiness passed last week on March 20th without much fanfare. The first day of spring in the Northern Hemisphere on the same day got more recognition.
Since I didn’t get to observe it then, now’s as good a time as any to reflect on happiness. I love these photos that NPR posted to mark the day and spread some joy.
According to CNN, while Finland takes first place in its eighth consecutive year as the happiest country on earth (with her Nordic neighbors following close behind), the US dropped to 24th place and Afghanistan showed up once again at the bottom of the list. The six key variables used in this ranking were: GDP per capita, social support, healthy life expectancy, freedom, generosity and perceptions of corruption. I was curious about Kenya’s position and checked: We were 115th out of 147. Yikes. Though based on the ongoing sociopolitical and economic problems and Gen Z protests against corruption, I suppose that sounds about right.
Author Gretchen Rubin was on NPR’s Life Kit podcast a couple of days ago, sharing ways we can experience more happiness in everyday life. As the host of the podcast Happier, and the author of books like Happier at Home and The Happiness Project, it’s no wonder that she has become a well known voice on this topic. (You can read my take on another of Rubin’s books that I enjoyed, Life in Five Senses here).
Here’s what I got from that podcast:
Ask the right question
Rubin says that instead of asking “What is happiness?”, a more effective question is “Will this make me happier?” She encourages people to move forward in the direction of growth. When you are taking consistent steps towards accomplishing your goals and striving to live a life that aligns with your values, you draw more happiness and fulfillment into your life.
One size does not fit all
Every time I hear this I remember my Multicultural Competency psychology professor, who often used this phrase in our discussions on cultural relativism and cultural hegemony, to emphasize that we cannot expect all cultures to uphold the same values and norms as our own. According to Rubin, this “one size does not fit all” approach also applies to happiness. There are so many books, videos, articles, social media posts, blogs (ahem) on how to be happy. Pick what works for you and understand that some things won’t.
Know thyself
Who are you? What makes you tick, what stimulates your mind and body, gets your energies up and your juices flowing? Set yourself up for happiness by knowing how you best function and allowing your life to reflect that. Find out what personality you are: an introvert or extrovert, night owl or morning lark, a talker or listener. Rubin describes her take on personality in her book The Four Tendencies, where she fits people into four categories: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Understanding your personality and preferences gives you vital information that can help you make choices that better serve you. Conversely, when we try to panel beat ourselves into ways of thinking, doing and being that don’t suit us, we are miserable and ineffective.
Small is OK
Rather than waiting for that big life event – the new job, the big move, the right partner, the fabulous vacation, the epic adventure – to bring you happiness, savor the small joys of today. I’m reminded of the Kiswahili proverb Haba na haba hujaza kibaba (little by little fills the container). Don’t discount the small daily doses of joy. They, too, count towards your overall happiness and fill your kibaba.
How will you fill up your cup today?
Photo by Joe Caione on Unsplash